Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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