omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
