she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
