Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
