No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize