maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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