I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
and she was petting her beer can
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
