Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
