I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
