So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
