I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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