how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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