you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My vagina just clenched in fear
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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