Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
