she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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