We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
