He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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