I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
