whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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