dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
