I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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