Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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