There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize