Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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