He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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