Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize