Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
