Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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