I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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