I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
