whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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