What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
