these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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