so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
