And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
