So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i permit you to call me
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
