dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
