Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
