she woke up with a sticky ear
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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