He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
