cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
