can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
