We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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