let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
