The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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