Screwed.edu
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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