I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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