Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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