God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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