I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
