I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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