I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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