Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
