Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
