so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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