Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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