you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
