Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
