Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
