ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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