Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My penis needs a shock collar
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
