ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
